EVERYDAY STRUGGLES | April 2016

HOW TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOU!

Highlighting how local area women can be the best version of themselves through everyday struggles that we face.

EVERYDAY STRUGGLE: My 5 siblings and I are planning a family reunion this summer to surprise our 65 year old parents. A few are flying in for it, others are driving, some live close by. The guest count should be around 50. The only things is that one sibling is refusing to come unless we all chip in to pay for her family’s airfare since she recently lost her job. They are very angry at us for planning this and we are all very torn. Is pitching in fair to everyone or should we continue to plan without? –Mary C., Naperville

It’s never fun managing the emotions of others, let alone family. I would look at the situation with kindness and compassion. Understand that your sibling is most likely anxious, scared and possibly suffering from being out of work. Reassure him/her that it is ok to miss family events, if it’s going to cause distress and angst rather than joy in their life. As an adult, that is their decision to make. Perhaps a loan is an option if you base that decision on how your parents would feel if one sibling is missing such a wonderful surprise.

EVERYDAY STRUGGLE: My heart is aching so badly right now for a mom I know in the neighborhood. Our girls play together on occasion and she is the sweetest woman. I'm sad because I recently saw her husband out downtown Chicago acting more-than-friendly with another woman we know in the community. I know it's not my business at all, but I would want to know if someone saw my husband snuggling up with someone other that me. Be brave enough to tell or mind my own business? -100% Anonymous

Most women say they want to know. Determine if you say something or not by the strength and loyalty of your friendship. Every friendship is different, every marriage is different and every affair is different. There is no one answer to this question that will fit everyone, all the time.

So if you do tell her, I'd start with the least amount of information you need to give. Being loyal to her doesn't mean telling her everything you know, it means telling her enough so that she can try it on and make her best decisions. It's usually best to tell her what you know with a little bit of doubt, allowing her to save face if she chooses denial. Don't force a long conversation or intervention, just move on. You can know she'll undoubtedly keep thinking about it.

Loyalty may mean protecting her from this news for now if you feel that's the best option. Loyalty can also mean helping her face her feelings, no matter how reactionary they are. Either way, as a friend continue to love and support her through each phase of her life and help her find the best version of “her”. Perhaps she will then see what is happening with her own eyes.

ABOUT THE WRITER Joann Pierce is a wellness and fitness enthusiast who is living a lifestyle she never thought was possible. She’s been a stay-at-home Mom for 12 years and started in fitness years ago– from kickboxing to yoga. Continuing her journey in 2011, she completed her 200hr Yoga Certification at Prairie Yoga in Lisle. With over 1000 teaching hours, she completed her associate Life Coach Certification in 2013 and became a Beachbody Coach. Joann Pierce #phase40 Fitness, Empowering you is what we do. Beachbody Coach, Life Coach, RYT 200hr Yogi • www.phase40fitness.com FB: Joann Pierce joannpierce@phase40fitness.com