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MIND & BODY: Family - MAY 2012
Q. Recently, my teenager has been outspoken about wanting to spend more time with friends than with family. What is the best way to address this?
Welcome to adolescence. As everyone may know, adolescence is a time when kids develop their identities. This process is painful for kids and parents alike because there is much changing that occurs. Included in this is the increasing amount of separation that adolescents begin to desire from their family. They start spending more time with kids who mirror many of their own interests, and this time develops higher levels of social and emotional functioning.
Even though it’s a developmental process, a parent doesn’t want to allow their child
to abandon the family either. The best way to manage this part of development is to set clear rules and expectations. Parents may understand that their child wants more independence but still become frustrated when their child continues to ask to go places and engage in activities without the family. Eventually a parent can become exasperated and address their concerns in a tone that would most likely not be conducive to a positive discussion.
In order to avoid this, find a calm moment to sit with your teenager and outline expectations. For example, does it mean that on Sunday afternoons, they are expected to be home to engage in family activities? Does it mean ensuring that chores are completed at home before going out? Families have different expectations for their children, and the important part is communicating these expectations before becoming frustrated with your child. In doing so, a positive resolution can be achieved and hopefully the summer can be enjoyed by the entire family.
ask an expert Adam Russo, LCSW, C-ACYFSW, Executive Director, Edgewood Clinical Services, Inc., 1288 Rickert Drive, Suite 120, Naperville, IL 60540. (630) 428-7890, (630) 428-7891, www.edgewoodclinicalservices.com. Additional location: 14722 S. Naperville Rd, Suite 112, Plainfield, IL 60544.facebook.com/edgewoodclinicalservices.
